Tips for Stress-Free Trips with a Partner
Words by Rebecca Deurlein
Illustration by Alex Kirsch
Travel can bring a host of benefits—opening up new worlds, fostering discovery, growing an appreciation for different cultures, and strengthening independence. Sharing all of that with someone you love can lower stress, provide shared joy, and ultimately lead to longer life.
However, traveling together can also magnify annoyances, reveal a side of your partner you’d prefer to ignore, and lead to arguments—none of which are on your Must Do vacation list. To concentrate on the good and keep your travel agenda harmonious, here are a few tips for getting along on your next getaway.
Discuss expectations before the trip.
Shakespeare famously said that all of life’s greatest sorrows come from unmet expectations, and The Bard was not wrong. Communication is key. For instance, assuming you are on a shared budget, discuss how much money you want to spend, then check in with each other before major purchases. You may have big plans for fine dining and a leather bag from Italy, and your partner may be dreaming about pizza and beer.
Be sure to speak in advance about what activities are musts. This will likely vary, so it’s good to plan for differences. Talk about what each of you is hoping to get out of the trip. Relaxation? Adventure? Romance? Discuss accommodations to make sure you’re on the same page—a chain hotel, an Airbnb, or a luxe resort. Whatever you decide, it’s important that both people are comfortable with the arrangements.
Don’t feel that you have to do everything together.
Respecting each other’s traveling styles is key. This begins with airplane seat preferences (if you both like the aisle, it’s okay not to sit together) and weaves its way through every aspect of your trip. Allow each other to pursue different interests and make it clear that there is no expectation to spend every waking moment together.
If one person wants to hike and the other wants to relax by the pool, go ahead and give each other permission to do exactly that. If the museum your friend wants to visit would bore you to tears, tell her you’ll meet up with her for lunch. Unless your travel companion can’t or won’t do a specific activity alone, encourage her to do it independently.
Separate activities also give you an opportunity to recharge on your own, and look forward to seeing your travel companion again. Some of the most enjoyable dinners I’ve had with fellow travelers are centered around how we spent our day.
Close quarters require ultimate thoughtfulness and consideration.
Short periods of time with a person are quite different from long stretches, and even if you build in breaks, you will ultimately end up back at the room, sharing everything from a tiny space to unfortunate bathroom smells. It has never been more important, therefore, to practice respect and consideration for your companion.
I am a morning person and my husband is a night owl. So when I wake up at the crack of dawn, I get a cup of coffee and curl up in a corner of the room to answer emails, read a book, or peruse social media. When my husband wakes up, we grab breakfast and begin an active day, both of us well-rested. At night, my husband uses earbuds to watch a movie or even explore on his own, while I get much-needed sleep.
That’s just one way to respectfully work around one another. Others include cleaning up after yourself, sharing equal storage and toiletry space, and compromising on room temperature. And pay attention to your bathroom habits. Hang up your towel, keep your side of the sink tidy, and choose a lobby restroom for those times when you need a little more privacy.
All of these thoughtful gestures help eliminate the little annoyances that build up over several days.
Sharing all of that with someone you love can lower stress, provide shared joy, and ultimately lead to longer life.
Take time for what others enjoy.
While you should both have some time to yourselves, you chose to travel together because you enjoy each other’s company. If you’re not adamantly opposed to an activity, agree to join your partner in something they enjoy doing—you may discover it’s the highlight of the trip!
It’s also the ultimate in wellness—discovering something new, stretching your wings, leaving your comfort zone, and strengthening a relationship, all in one. Sharing in positive experiences not only bonds you but also creates memories you can look back on together.
Finally, focus on fun, keep a positive attitude, and just as in everyday life, try to give your companion the benefit of the doubt. When you do, you’ll double the fun.
