Words by MaryAlayne B. Long
Hello, my name is MaryAlayne B. Long and I am a wannabe philanthropist. I have joked for years that it is a dream of mine to win the lottery so I can donate all of the money to charity. As I am not one to purchase lottery tickets, I don’t see that dream becoming reality any time soon. However, the fine folks here at Good Grit Magazine (who have valued my voice and my view for years) very graciously give me space in each issue of this magazine to share with you the stories of some wonderful non-profit organizations that are near and dear to my heart.
If you’re a regular here, then you’ve already read all about Sandal Gap Studio and Ruby’s Rainbow and East Tennessee Children’s Hospital and Laughs For Life and The Hank Poore Foundation and Jack’s Basket and oh my stars—so many more amazing groups of people doing amazing things. And so now, after a few years of me sharing those stories with you, I’ve been asked to tell you WHY I love philanthropy like I do.
The truth of the matter is, I don’t actually know. There’s not one specific moment in my life I can point to and say “On this day in 1982 I decided to have a heart for charity and philanthropy.” I’d love to tell you some sweet and syrupy story about how something amazing happened that opened my heart to be a giver, but the honest truth is I don’t ever remember NOT being one. I suppose that’s largely due to my parents who were always (and usually quietly) helping someone with something somewhere. Even as a young girl in elementary school I can remember them often buying coats or shoes to anonymously send home with children in need.
My mother worked at the bank in the very small town where I grew up, and each year at Christmas they would set up a huge wooden tree in the lobby then fill it with very plain baby dolls. The ladies of the community would come in, claim a doll, take it home and sew dresses for it then return it to the bank so that Santa could make sure it ended up with a little girl who otherwise might not have anything for Christmas. I remember so vividly walking into the bank and seeing all those dolls in their dresses and having my parents explain to me what it was all about.
My daddy taught high school for years and years and was forever more holding canned food drives in his class room and collecting toys at Christmas. And he always kept an eye out for students with holes in their shoes or those in short sleeves during winter. Then somehow those children ended up with shoes, gloves and jackets to wear—without ever knowing where they came from.
Of course, for me at least, the heart of charity is born in the church. I was grateful to learn when I married my husband he was a dedicated thither and giver as well. And each month, in addition to supporting the works of the church (which of course God calls us all to do), we try to choose some group or some person who needs help and do something for them. It’s not usually anything big—but we try to help where we can. He’s done a lot of hurricane relief work down here where we live on the Gulf coast, and he’s always ready to lend a helping hand to anyone in need. Sometimes we cook together and take food to a neighbor who’s having a rough go of things. And sometimes we support charity events or other good causes that pop up around town. There’s no real rhyme or reason to it.
I have always been taught the importance of being a quiet giver, and I do think that is a most admirable quality. We don’t need to proclaim who we help or how we do it. If you put the focus on yourself, it can dim the light of charity quite drastically. However, a wonderful man I admire greatly once told me WHY there’s a time to talk about giving. I’m sure you have heard of The Big Oak Ranch, and it is even more likely you know of their founder, John Croyle. (In the event you don’t know—I will steer you to bigoakranch.org to learn more.) You see, my husband won a car at their big hootie falootie golf tournament one year. He hit a hole in one and boom—a brand new Honda Accord was his prize. Immediately he refused the gift and instructed the very kind dealership who had graciously donated the prize to give it straight to Big Oak Ranch. In turn, they were able to trade that new car for five used cars that were placed at the ranch and used by residents. He didn’t want anyone to know he had done it. John wanted to announce it at the party that night, and we asked him not to. He pulled me aside and said “I get it. I understand. And I love a quiet giver. But we need people to be loud for these kids and if you’ll let me, I really want to tell the story. You never know who it might encourage.” I’m really good at being loud—especially about things that matter—so we let him tell it.
Ever since that day I’ve had a different view of giving, and while there’s not really a moment that started it I guess there is a moment that made me stop hiding it. Of course, I wouldn’t ever want to appear boastful. I don’t have enough money to boast about anyway. But I do want to ENCOURAGE others to be givers. And I want people to know that even one dollar is a great donation. One hundred dollars is also a great donation. A coat or a pair of shoes or a doll in a hand sewn dress that’s made with love is also a great donation.
Any time you can share with those in need, it is a lovely and welcomed gesture. And to be quite honest—it’s YOU who will benefit from your gift far more than the recipient ever will. I promise.
